Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Lick me bitch ;)

Been there done that, couldn't agree more.......Still have no idea where I was physically taken (it's not on the map), Idaho....1999.....Chicago, Illinois....2009-2014..........


The premise of my argument is that the United States military’s rules, customs, “courtesies,” and overall culture did not evolve organically. They were consciously and systematically designed using modern psychological research on mind control and are based on professional knowledge of how cults indoctrinate and control their followers’ minds. I can’t prove this argument by sourcing internal documents or training manuals, but if you compare how the United States military operates to how cults operate you’ll see that the similarities aren’t vague or coincidental;the United States military is the perfection of the cult model. If you want to start a cult you’ll have the best chance of success by copying the United States military’s rules, customs, courtesies and overall culture as closely as possible.
It all starts with the recruiting process. All cults use deceptive recruiting methods. When they approach you on the street or draw you into their recruiting stations they promise you everything glorious in life and death you could ever want while dodging and skimming over the negative aspects of what your life will be like in their organization. They never explain in detail all the rules you’ll be subjected to or how they’ll manipulate you into basing your identity on your role in their organization. The United States military is no different. If you go into any recruiter station they’ll promise you money, benefits, travel and glory, but they’ll never mention the U.C.M.J, and if you point out any negative aspects of the military they’ll make any excuse they can think of to dismiss your concern or glaze over it.
You’ll never get a military recruiter to admit that the United States military is a cult, because they probably don’t realize it is. Cults don’t advertise themselves as cults. They don’t tell their recruits they’re joining a cult. They indoctrinate their recruits to believe that they’re joining the most noble organization in the world. Then they send their brainwashed followers out to recruit more recruits. So even if all the original, malicious leaders at the top of the cult’s pyramid shaped authority structure die and there’s no one left alive who knows that the organization was systematically designed around manipulation techniques, the cult will still continue to function. Its brainwashed followers will run on autopilot brainwashing new recruits like a virus. There may still be leaders at the top level of the United States military who understand that their rules, customs, courtesies and overall culture are precisely cultish, but there doesn’t need to be. It is a cult, and it will continue to operate on autopilot in the absence of wilful manipulation.
As a result military recruiters willingly volunteer to act like used car salesmen and wrangle poor people into joining by promising them that all their dreams will come true if they just sign a legally binding contract (something every other cult must wish they could do). What those recruiters won’t tell you is that they have a quota that they have to meet, and they get rewards for exceeding it, which is another reason the cult is able to continue to run on auto pilot. Its recruiters must bring in new recruits whether they want to or not, because if they don’t they’ll get in trouble, but if they do they’ll be rewarded with treasures of this world regardless of whether or not they’re true believers.
Once the military convinces the recruit to sign all their civil liberties away the recruit is taken to a hotel where they’ll be watched and kept from running away the day before they begin their indoctrination process. The recruits will be told that on the next day they’ll be taken to a training facility where they’ll learn how to be an adult and an efficient worker. But in reality they won’t learn anything about being an adult, and they’ll learn very little about their job, because that’s not the point of basic training. The point of basic training is to break down the recruits’ sense of identity and indoctrinate them to base their identity on their membership within the cult.
If the United States military has done its job right then any prior service or active duty military member reading this will be screaming, “That’s not what basic training is about! It prepares you to follow orders because when the shit hits the fan on the battle field you have to act without thinking in order to keep yourself and your fellow soldiers alive!”
That’s what the military tells its recruits to believe, and that argument sounds good on paper, but if you scratch the surface you’ll find flaws in that argument. Firstly, the majority of the humans who go through the military’s indoctrination process will never see the battle field. Millions of them will never even leave the continental United States. But they go through the same indoctrination process because the purpose of basic training isn’t to prepare you for the battlefield. Its purpose is to ensure that every recruit will always blindly serve the interests of their leaders, and the leadership hierarchy stacks up like this: Enlisted troops take orders from officers. Officers take orders from politicians, and politicians take orders from the individuals and special interest groups who fund their campaigns, give them bribes and employ them after they leave public service. Thus, military members are unwitting mercenaries for (and blind supporters of) the ultra-rich. The United States military serves the interests of the wealthy. Every major military campaign the United States military has been involved in has made the rich richer and the poor poorer. And the gears of war and profit will keep turning as long as nobody in the military ever dissents or asks questions. That’s why it’s imperative that every recruit be systematically brainwashed to associate their identity primarily with their membership in the military.
The process of reprogramming civilians begins the second they step off the bus and set foot on their basic training base. The moment they leave the bus they’re descended upon by multiple drill sergeants or training instructors. Different branches call their basic instructors by different names. Each branch also has different names for their ranks, career fields and facilities. The reason for this is because it causes members of each branch to base their identity on their respective branch. This makes it less likely for military personnel to form a coup against their corrupt political leaders.
Differentiating the branches from each other serves another purpose as well. It’s standard procedure for cults to indoctrinate their members to believe that anyone who isn’t a member of the cult is inferior. Every military member is taught that civilians are untried, unproven and take their livelihood for granted while the glorious military sacrifices everything and is better than everyone else (regardless of the fact that many military members will spend their career sitting at a desk stateside for 20 years living rent-free, receiving free  medical care and driving a Ford Mustang that they paid for with their reenlistment bonus). Pitting military members against civilians is a powerful mind control technique that the military reuses by pitting military members against each other.
Airmen (aka “Zoomies”) are taught they’re smarter than Marines (aka “Jar Heads”). Marines are taught they’re tougher than soldiers (aka “Grunts”). And everyone thinks the Navy is gay. Pitting each branch against each other doesn’t cause them to go to war with each other though. It causes each branch to be even more loyal to its own chain of command, and since the entire military falls under the command of the Department of Defence, whoever controls the D.O.D benefits from this manufactured infighting.
But I digress. When recruits get off the bus their first day of basic training they’re immediately set upon by a flock of “training instructors” who throw hell at them. The instructors yell at them, insult them, tear them down, threaten them and tell them they don’t deserve to be there. The purpose of this initial assault is to shock and awe the new recruits. It makes them doubt themselves as well as accept the authority of anyone wearing the cult’s symbols of rank on their shoulders. All of this primes them to be receptive to the message they’ll be inundated with over the next few weeks.
Every year billions of people around the world enter employment in jobs that are just as dangerous if not more dangerous than what the average American military recruit signs up for, but they aren’t subjected to the mental abuse American troops are subjected to on their first day, yet they still follow orders and go above and beyond the call of duty often putting themselves at unnecessary personal risk. You don’t need to assault a human’s mind to convince them to do what’s necessary. But you do need to assault their mind if you want to reprogram their identity.
The next form of mental assault that the American government submits its military recruits to is less obvious but just as important to the indoctrination process. The recruits are filed into dormitories or barracks where they’ll live in communal spaces with up to 60 other people. They’ll have absolutely no privacy or control over their environment. Everything they own will be identical to everyone else there. Everyone will dress the same and looks the same. Everyone will sleep in identical beds and keep what few possessions they’re allowed to have in identical lockers.  They’ll even have to shower naked in communal showers with dozens of other recruits. All of these factors dehumanize the new recruits and help break down their sense of identity and self-worth.
The lack of privacy breaks down the recruit’s defences. You can’t hold up your guard when you’re naked in a shower with 15 other people and sleeping in a room with 30 other people. Under those circumstances you’re like a vulnerable child who has no home, no identity, no safe haven, no escape, no choices and no power over your own destiny. You’re nobody. And the only source of validation you can possibly experience comes from the cult, which makes the cult your mother, your father, your boss and your god.
If this doesn’t seem sinister yet, consider that the new recruits will be held captive within the confines of their dormitory. A sentinel will stand guard at the entrance preventing anyone from leaving, and if an escapee can manage to get out of the building they’ll still be trapped on base behind tall fences lined with razor wire as well as gate guards armed with semi-automatic assault rifles. The military holds a gun to its recruits’ heads and forces them to endure the indoctrination process, which is so mentally brutal that many recruits will attempt suicide.
The military goes through such dire lengths to keep its recruits locked away from the outside world because it’s much harder to break down and reprogram someone’s identity when they don’t have access to their old support structures or the freedom to live life by their own accord. So you have to isolate them from everything they’ve ever known and inundate them completely with the rules, customs and culture of cult. When the cult is all they know… then the cult is all they know. Once the recruits spend a few weeks eating, sleeping and breathing nothing but the cult’s way of life they’ll accept that that’s how life is. And why wouldn’t they? The reality of their day to day life is whatever the cult makes it. So they go about their day to day life experiencing reality according to how the cult defines it, and in no time at all they take the cult’s way of life for granted.
Isolating new recruits from the outside world also insulates them from dissent and freedom of thought. If the recruits go out on the town every night or even worse, go home, they might tell someone about all the new things they’ve been learning. Then someone with a free mind might point out crazy they sound and convince them to leave the cult.
Another reason cult members are forced to live in communal quarters is because humans take cues from other people’s behaviour and mimic it. You’d have a very hard time taking a lone individual to an empty camp and convincing them to change their behaviour. However, if you take 60 people and force them to all behave the same way they’ll assume that since everyone else is going along with it then it must be okay. Plus, once you break the minds of the weakest members they’ll take it upon themselves to enforce the rules of the group.
With the stage set the instructors can begin actively reprogramming the minds of their recruits. The daily indoctrination process begins as soon as the recruits wake up each morning. Loud speakers in the ceilings of the dormitories blast a trumpet tune called reveille often times accompanied by training instructors banging trash can lids and shouting at the recruits telling them to get up and quit being lazy. The recruits will have a few minutes to get dressed, make up their bed and line up in formation outside.
The brain-rattling trumpet, combined with the frantic morning chores and the instructor’s insults throws the recruits off centre from the moment they wake ensuring that they won’t have the mental focus to resist the indoctrination process. The chores and routines also ensures that the recruits are following orders from the moment they wake up even if the instructor isn’t even present to tell them to get dressed, make up their beds and file outside for formation. Thus the military controls every aspect of their lives and leaves no room for individual freedom of thought or action. The more the recruits accept that as the norm the less likely they are to question it and the more likely they are to embrace it.
There are very specific rules for falling into formation. Following those rules first thing in the morning continues to reinforce blind obedience to the group without questioning the purpose of orders. Standing in the group formation where everyone looks and acts identically also helps minimize the individuality of the group members. In case the recruits don’t pick up on this idea on their own the training instructors will tell them bluntly that they’re no longer an individual. They’re a member of the group, and their own identity and desires are worth less than the identity and desires of the group. Training instructors will tell the recruits to be proud of this fact and to look down on civilians who value their individuality and selfishly desire to fulfil their own destiny.
Any active duty or prior service members reading this will likely be screaming, “But you shouldvalue being a member of the group! That creates a stronger team and keeps the group together when the shit hits the fan! Anyway, we’re proud to put our own egos aside to help protect the freedom of civilians!”
Those criticisms aren’t wrong, but there’s more going on than just that. First, there’s the fact that the military isn’t upfront about the invasive methods of mind control it submits its troops to, and that’s unethical. Also, reprogramming recruits sense of identity eliminates their freedom to determine their own destiny. It makes mental slaves out of recruits who are so zealous that they’ll defend their own manipulation. This reprogramming controls all aspects of the brainwashed victim’s life, not just how they perform their job. Plus, reprogramming individuals essentially kills the person they once were and creates a new person. Once the old person is dead they can never come back to life as the person they once were. Doing that to another human being is no small matter, and no human has the authority and right to kidnap another person’s soul. Finally, it’s worth noting that everyone in the world will participate as a functional member of a team on an almost daily basis without being brainwashed. Sports teams are high functioning teams that coordinate plays selflessly without going through a brutal indoctrination process. Even civilian contractors in the military play by the rules and make sacrifices in war zones without going through basic training.
Once the recruits are lined up in their morning formation they sing their branch’s official songand chant an oath of allegiance to the military and the United States. This is cut and dry, unambiguous brainwashing 101.
After having sworn their daily oath of allegiance the troops eat breakfast, and even then they don’t get a moment to themselves. They have to file through the cafeteria silently standing heel to toe, staring straight ahead while instructors hover over them to punish anyone who breaks these arbitrary rules. When the recruits finally get their food they’ll be given as little time as possible to eat to ensure they can’t relax and mentally collect themselves.
After the meal they’ll take part in physical exercises and marching drills. They’ll perform their exercises and marching drills as a group, everyone acting in unison further conditioning them to base their identity on the group. Every member of the group will be punished whenever any individual fails to follow the arbitrary rules perfectly. This encourages the recruits to police each other. The more the recruits enforce the military’s rules on each other the more they take the military’s rules and authority for granted.
The military doesn’t leave this powerful mind control technique to chance. The instructors will assign recruits as element leaders. The element leaders will receive an arbitrary symbol of authority (a colored rope that attaches to the lapel of their uniform), and they’ll be tasked with policing their group. When the military leadership bestows authority on individuals it teaches every member of the group that the military has the authority to bestow authority on individuals and raise their value as a human being. Once the recruits take this for granted they will always respect higher ranking military members as if God Himself touched their leaders with His grace. Finally, it dangles a carrot in front of the recruits. They’re taught in basic training that their life is worthless outside of the military hierarchy and that elevation within the cult is the true path to elevation as a person. The use of “ropes” or element leaders sets this precedent from day one.
This is also why recruits are called “trainees” instead of Airmen, soldiers, seamen or Marines. They have to prove themselves worthy first before being granted a title in the illustrious group. Every cult in the world does this. The military just hides this brainwashing technique in plain sight.
At some point during the day, between eating, exercising and marching the recruits will be taken to classrooms where they’ll receive hundreds of hours of lectures on military history, rules and customs. The point of teaching military history is to train the recruits to accept the military’s history as their own history. Once they come to base their identity on hundreds of years of history they’ve just learned they’ll always view themselves as a member of that distinct group.
If any troop ever complains about life in the military they’ll be told, “You knew what you were getting into before you signed up.” But the hundreds of hours of class time they’ll spend in basic training betray this lie. You won’t learn all the details of what you signed up for until you take these classes.
Those classes teach all the unique symbols, language, rules, customs and beliefs that make up the overall military culture. On the surface most of them are innocuous, but it’s standard operating procedure for cults to manufacture their own internal culture based on shared symbols, terminology, rules and customs, because you need to give the recruits a culture to latch onto and derive their new identity from. The whole point of giving recruits a new culture and a new identity is to tie it all into the group’s pyramid shaped leadership hierarchy. All the other details are red herrings, but once you accept them you’ll accept your place in the leadership hierarchy that comes along with it. From then on you’ll always respect and obey any human being who wears the arbitrary symbols that represent authority within the cult.
After class (and maybe a few more marching drills) the recruits are filed back into their dormitories where they’ll spend the rest of their night cleaning their rooms, organizing their lockers, folding their cloths and arranging their belongings to precise requirements. The purpose of these chores is to simply get the recruits used to obeying arbitrary rules. If you can get them to perform mundane tasks without question you can get them to perform any task without question.
It also gives the instructors more reasons to berate the recruits and tear down their sense of self-worth (and just as importantly) to reward the recruits for demonstrating obedience. In a stressful, totalitarian environment a simple bar of candy or a phone call home is worth a million dollars. Recruits will love their captors when given these small token rewards.
Throughout the whole indoctrination process the instructors will find any reason in the world to make the recruits doubt their worth as a person and as a member of the group. As they tear down the recruits they’ll slowly build them back up with praise and rewards. Then, just as the recruits are beginning to feel good about themselves the instructor will find any excuse to tear them back down again. If the recruits are doing everything right the instructor will simply lie and tell them they’re all failing at their duties. This emotional roller coaster keeps the recruits doubting their worth, makes them yearn to win the approval of their captors and makes them feel more proud when they receive any sign of affection or validation. It’s a way to systematically induce Stockholm Syndrome.
By the end of basic training the effects of the reprogramming techniques will have taken root in the trainee’s minds. They’ll sing their branch song with pride, gush when they see an officer and perform every task asked of them with gusto. In the end they’ll take part in a lavish ceremony where they’ll receive the mark of the in-group and will be congratulated on their elevation to true worth as a member of the group cementing the effects of the indoctrination process.
After reading all this you may still hold firm that military basic training teaches discipline and trains recruits to act without hesitation as a member of a goal-oriented team. As true as that may be, and as useful as that may be, it’s still not the whole truth. The fact of the matter remains that the training methods used in basic training are the exact same methods used by cults, and they have the exact same results. They rob recruits of their identity and replace it with a willing mental slave drunk on loyalty to the in-group. The training methods used on military recruits are considered unethical and even illegal to do anyone else, and they’re so invasive and brutal that they cause the recruits extreme mental anguish in the process to the point that many even attempt to commit suicide.
I have never seen evidence to support the claim that is absolutely necessary to submit human beings to this form of unethical treatment in order to create a smoothly functioning organization. Even if it were, we still have to ask ourselves if the cost is worth it, especially since it contradicts the entire reason the military supposedly exists: to protect the freedom and dignity of the citizens of the United States.




Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Saturday night shenanigans...Walmart hula hooping because Austin was sad and Forbes articles because, well, I would be perfect for this job.  I just have to figure out how to get there.....




ENTREPRENEURS  37,412 views

The Top 5 Ways To Manage Closed-Minded, Defensive, Truth-Resistant People

gorilla van Robert Beunder Ruwenzori
gorilla van Robert Beunder Ruwenzori (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Everyone who hires an executive coach like me, sees a psychotherapist (which I was, for over 2 decades), or seeks the counsel of a trusted advisor (my role, right now, for 3 CEOs), does so, primarily, to work, and/or get-along better with, others. Why then, in light of their stated desire to enhance their EQ(emotional intelligence), do these folks regularly interrupt or terminate coaching relationships with what I call Ostrich Moments: Hiding, avoiding or ensuring they won’t get touched by the reality-based feedback they ask coaches to provide?
In psychiatry, the behaviors people engage in to ensure they will be spared the stress of handling the truth is called resistance; a complex form of shooting the messenger (shrink, coach) that blocks the delivery of hard, cold, facts to someone who fears them. In discussions I’ve had with executives charged with managing truth evaders, they report the frustrations of coping with them in more descriptive terms than the nomenclature I was trained to use: When someone asks an executive for the truth, rejects it, and prompts the executive to react with, “You can’t handle the truth,” the resistant party is often described as being a stubborn ass, avoiding ostrich, or barking dog who won’t bite, but makes life miserable nevertheless.
After years of trying to help people work through resistances I am sympathetic to the frustration executives feel when they say they are sick of being messengers who are invariably shot when direct reports can’t handle the truth.  The real danger here is that when someone shoots the messenger, that person deludes himself into believing that he has dodged a bullet and feels uplifted. Nope. Whatever gains a misguided shooter experiences in the short term are lost down the road since there is no way to cope with a problem unless or until a person identifies it, understands it, and purges it from his behavioral repertoire.  If someone chronically hides his head in the sand when his manager or coach has feedback for him, the only thing he ensures is his ultimate suffocation.
After decades of studying resistance and those who generate more than their fair share of them, I would like to help the business owners, executives, and managers, who feel driven to their wits’ end by these energy-leeching enigmas. You see, no executive would tolerate the defensiveness of, say, breast-beating gorillas, if that ape didn’t merit attention. Which is why most people who cannot handle the truth are so vexing: More often than not stubborn mules are smart, talented, and accomplished folks who validate the old saw that the problem with attaining what you want is that it positions you to have something to lose!
If you have one or more direct reports who are threatened by the fear of loss more than they are driven to attain new heights, read on. I cannot promise to solve your problem, but I guarantee I’ll present some strategies that, if cleverly applied, will move you well along the road to getting the asses you’re charged with managing up off their rumps.
Gorillas:  Nothing is more difficult than conveying constructive feedback –i.e. anything other than adulation— to a narcissist. He won’t tell you he cannot handle the truth but, rather, will simply start beating his chest, growling, and snarling in ways designed to intimidate and then some.
To manage these typically valuable folks when they are in manic states, remind yourself that gorillas are normally shy and amiable creatures. There is virtually no chance that confronting them with the truth will lead to an actual attack, since theirmodus operandi is to rant and if that doesn’t work, rant in a different manner (e.g. “Do you know who I am?” intimidation tactics). Ultimately, what every narcissist resorts to is projection— finding trace elements of their core problem in you, and then hounding you about being ill suited to sit in judgment of them because of it.
When forced to cope with a gorilla try using this variant of the assertiveness training technique called, “the broken record:” Repeat the facts your gorilla refuses to acknowledge, over-and-over, until he does so or until he walks away.
During a workshop I once held for small business owners designed to help them “enhance self-awareness,” one participant took exception to a comment I made about what motivates entrepreneurial success and snarled at me, red-faced: “Not so!” this gentleman growled— “My raison d’etre is the welfare of my employees!!” It was obvious that rather than being a benevolent despot this man luxuriated in keeping employees dependent upon him, so I decided to dig for facts and persuade him with the truth: “Okay,” I said; “Tell the group about the ESOP program you have in place?” No reply. “What about guaranteed bonuses?” Silence. “Can you describe how you are grooming your successor from within the rank-and-file of the company?” Crickets were the only sound we heard.
You cannot shove truth down a gorilla’s throat, but can inundate him with reality hoping that the weight of your argument forces the gorilla off his haunches long enough to listen rather than scream.
Foxes. A form of denial that trumps the truth far better than ostrich-like hiding from it is flat-out rejection of it predicated on nothing more than personal preference. You see it all the time as “sour grapes” or, “I don’t need to hear that crap… that’s not where I live…”
When a management nightmare tells you that something you know has gotten under his skin is a triviality or an irrelevancy in his life, do what Aesop’s crows did to the fox who couldn’t reach the grapes he rejected, out of hand, as being sour: Exaggerate the sweetness of them.
A VP of sales I coached asked me to help him handle the frustration he felt from being stymied by sales people he couldn’t fire (owing to nepotism) who lacked any semblance of drive. Believing he could “instill motivation” in them, he nearly drove himself crazy. I taught him judo: Leave the laggards alone, let them reject the benefits of bonuses, and brag, along with the salespeople who reached their quotas, about the trips, perks, and prizes, doing so afforded them. After that, exaggerate what you just said, until the fox sneaks up on you to see what all the excitement is about. Only then will you move that sort of critter, if moving him is even possible.
Equidae (a.k.a. The Horse Family). There is no doubt that trying to manage someone who mounts intense resistances to facts calls to mind someone who is as “stubborn as a mule” or acts like a horse that has been led to water but refuses to drink. These equines are everywhere, bizarrely gaining more psychic satisfaction from power struggles with executives than from meeting or exceeding expectations and reaping traditional rewards.
If you fight these neigh-saying critters [forgive me] head-on, you cannot win. Your only hope of stimulating the desired cognizance of what is right and proper is to admit defeat and abandon them.
A client of mine thrived on not accepting the insights uncovered in our work by assuming a patrician air of an aristocrat that he knew well owing to his father’s success and the trust fund he lived off. He hired me to help him learn to flip entrepreneurial ventures he purchased when they were start-ups, but every time I broached the issue of fostering the autonomy of his staff and looking for buyers he would say, “With all due respect, good man, all things in due course.” Explaining that holding on to businesses with marginal profits for years made flipping them more difficult only prompted this man to dig his heels in further and hitting me with another, “With all due respect…”
After months of these sorts of rebuffs I decided to push back: “Let me ask you, Allen, if you know the meaning of ‘with all due respect’ in street speak?” “No idea,” he said. “Well,” I told him, “It means, ‘screw you’. So I’ll do what you want,” and I quit.
The moment I walked away Allen asked me to review what I had been presenting him with for months. It was such a dramatic shift that I could almost visualize him as a mule, rising from a crouched position, saying, “Okay… no more dragging you down to feel impotent.”
Owls: A tried-and-true technique for mounting resistances to the truth is debunking it with your own data. Folks who do this suffer hubris that’s manifest intellectually: They flaunt a self-awarded sense of wisdom and omniscience that they use to grind-down anyone who wants to show them the light. Of course, as nocturnal hunters, owls won’t tolerate that, and they hoot with laughter when you try to convince them that they are avoidant and evasive.

Every owl I have worked for was vastly more intelligent than they seemed to be when haughtily refuting facts, and I knew that from the lofty perches they put themselves on I, a mere pedestrian, would never be able to help them. Which is why the only way I was able to help owls was to admit defeat and call upon an external advisor –a senior “owl” from their field— capable of having a birds of a featherheart to heart discussion with them.
As managers of talented, albeit resistant direct reports, you can do this far more readily than I can since I had to hire a consultant to consult to me. All you have to say is, “Owl… let me defer to a greybeard, Rabbi, or Senior Statesmen, who is as wise as you…” Doing this is not an abrogation of your responsibility, although some executives fear it is. Instead, trapping an owl by handing-off responsibility to some he cannot dismiss enhances your stature by demonstrating that you are results-oriented, not defensive. Best of all, in the process of saying, “I’ll let you work with someone at your level” you hoist the owl on his own petard.
Skunks: Often when attempting to confront insecure people with the truth, they spray you with a stink that is as, if not more potent, than the one expelled by a skunk.
Years ago when working for a company as their in-house coach, an executive that everyone found amiable and charming asked if I could help him achieve his goal of “not shooting myself in the foot.” He maintained that he hit a plateau and was unable get promoted or garner interest from headhunters because he just couldn’t summon-up the energy to “hit one out of the park” when he needed to. A review of this man’s performance record seemed to back him up, but decades of working with people told me that there was more to this man’s problem than a simple lack of oomph.
After several weeks of discussing his circumstance the executive told me that his home life was somewhat “shaky:” Never once, in 28 years of marriage, had he been faithful to his wife. Moreover, he could not see how he ever could be given his disdain for the woman. When I responded to his revelation by suggesting that this situation was the likely cause of his self-sabotage, and that to extricate himself from the rut he was in he needed to either go into couples’ therapy or file for divorce, my client lost control: He started screaming at me, and said he would never consider either option. Then, to add insult to injury, the executive swore that he would “ruin me” for suggesting what I did, rather than simply fire me and ask for a new coach.
Skunks, you see, don’t mount resistances by simply shooting the messenger. Instead, they drag the messenger into the sewers where they believe they dwell, in an effort to taint the messenger with stigmata as vile as theirs.
As luck would have it the first person this skunk attempted to bad-mouth me to was the CEO of the company; the man who hired me because I helped him in his hour of need. When the skunk approached him to describe my wrongdoing, the CEO countered, “I guess Steve must have really touched a nerve in you or you wouldn’t be peddling this load of crap about him…”
If you work with or for a skunk and become the target of his spray, never try to wash it off on your own. Instead, ask others to do so by having them tell the skunk that he stinks, needs to address his malodorous circumstance, and suspend his concerns about if an how the hygienic habits of others are impacting the workplace. When skunks learn that they cannot taint the messenger and, in so doing, thwart his campaign to articulate the truth, they have no choice but to flee. You won’t necessarily get them to see the light in this manner since skunks are nocturnal, terrified, and paranoid animals who have only one defense at their disposal, but you do deprive them of this noxious defense when you use group support(s) to tell them that they, not others, stink.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

I'm such a dork....I'm so doing this :).


Monday, October 20, 2014