HEART -
Sarabear
Sunday, July 31, 2011
R.I.P.......BEAUTIFUL SOUL
HEART -
Sarabear
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
“I’m flooded constantly by other people’s energy, by sounds, visual images, everything. I can walk into a room and feel all the emotional energy in the room, but it’s completely undifferentiated. . I’m unable to filter anything out. Everything comes in, but my brain can’t parse it fast enough…I become very disoriented and overloaded. I say too much, or stumble over my words, or simply feel paralyzed and mute.”
The resulting anxiety can cause me to transpose letters and sounds in my response. At other times, I simply can’t remember the words I want to use. Occasionally, I become hyperlexic and start to do a monologue. However, I’ve learned through painful and embarrassing experience not to take over the conversation. It exhausts me, and it’s not exactly a wonderful experience for the other person.
Fortunately, when I get more familiar with a person and we’ve had a number of interactions, I find it easier to have a conversation. Subconsciously, I’ve put together all the experiences I’ve had with the person, and I can use them to more quickly interpret what he or she says. If the person has a good sense of humor, all the better. I can joke around once I’m comfortable with someone, and if both of us can laugh, it relieves a great deal of stress.
If I’m in an environment in which there are too many voices and other sounds, I become overwhelmed very easily. Too many moving visuals, such as a great number of people, buses, and cars on a busy city street, also have this effect. When the two types of stimuli are combined, sensory overload happens almost immediately.
Too much empathy. Yes. That’s what I said: Too much empathy.
For many years, I’ve been aware that when I walk into a room full of people, I enter into the experience of everyone in the room. It’s as though all the emotions come right through me. When this happens, I become very disoriented, so much so that I have difficulty feeling or thinking at all. I have tried shielding with my intellect, but the energy it takes is very draining. Whether I shield or not, I become very emotionally and physically fatigued.
The resulting anxiety can cause me to transpose letters and sounds in my response. At other times, I simply can’t remember the words I want to use. Occasionally, I become hyperlexic and start to do a monologue. However, I’ve learned through painful and embarrassing experience not to take over the conversation. It exhausts me, and it’s not exactly a wonderful experience for the other person.
Fortunately, when I get more familiar with a person and we’ve had a number of interactions, I find it easier to have a conversation. Subconsciously, I’ve put together all the experiences I’ve had with the person, and I can use them to more quickly interpret what he or she says. If the person has a good sense of humor, all the better. I can joke around once I’m comfortable with someone, and if both of us can laugh, it relieves a great deal of stress.
If I’m in an environment in which there are too many voices and other sounds, I become overwhelmed very easily. Too many moving visuals, such as a great number of people, buses, and cars on a busy city street, also have this effect. When the two types of stimuli are combined, sensory overload happens almost immediately.
Too much empathy. Yes. That’s what I said: Too much empathy.
For many years, I’ve been aware that when I walk into a room full of people, I enter into the experience of everyone in the room. It’s as though all the emotions come right through me. When this happens, I become very disoriented, so much so that I have difficulty feeling or thinking at all. I have tried shielding with my intellect, but the energy it takes is very draining. Whether I shield or not, I become very emotionally and physically fatigued.
Oh yes I'm on the hamster wheel........
As Ryan walked by my desk this morn he spewed out the usual morning greetings.....He chased it with A phrase I absolutely <3 though.......Just living the dream....Sara. To that I replied, you know it.....I'm strutting on that hamster wheel of monotony with my am sports radio in one ear and a phone receiver glued to the other. Those simple words got me to thinking.....How much could I really do if I applied myself. I know my pain threshold is 10 fold of most souls.....whether it be physical or emotional discomfort. I also know I store more knowledge than the average person.....I rarely share my info though. I just pretend I don't know the info that is flowing out of someones mouth. I'm sure I'm coming off as a cocky lil ass right about now and I'm certainly not claiming to know everything. I know stupid random things.....Yet........I cant remember things that would make me successful in the "boys club".....Hence the lack of ambition to apply myself. I need to start telling myself if you learn this.....you can fly to Africa,Bali,Fiji,Antarctica,Chile.......ANYWHERE......Take all the pictures you want if you just apply your damn brain to things that will make you all the money you want. I want to defeat the barrier of my on mind......I just need to figure out how to trick myself into doing it ;). Ahhhhhhh yeeesssss.....This is my brain :) Careful.......You may trip over a stalagmite............And exit stage left.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
i'LL TAKE feeliNg foR 200 pLeasE
SO......LATELY IVE BEEN FEELING A LIL TOO BALANCED. IT MAKES THE DAYS SEEM TO BLEED TOGETHER.....ITS AS IF NOTHING EFFECTS ME ANYMORE. MAYBE SOMEONE BORROWED MY PASSION AND FORGOT TO PUT IT BACK IN MY LIL STORAGE CONTAINER OF A SOUL. SERIOUSLY IF IT WAS YOU.....I WANT IT BACK...DON'T THINK I DIDN'T SEW MY NAME IN THAT BIATCH. ITS LIKE A BOOMERANG,IT KNOWS WHERE TO FIND ME. I GUESS IT JUST LIKES TO WANDER LIKE ANYTHING ELSE. I WANT IT BACK....SLEEPWALKING IN THE SUNSHINE ISN'T MY FORTE. WHAT CAN YOU DO BUT KEEP IT MOVING THOUGH.....STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU WANT AND FIND WAYS TO MAKE EACH MOMENT SUCK A LIL LESS. AHHHHH.....LIFE :).
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)