This is me.....

Pick me up....wait, no I'll drive.....well, on second thought pick me up....wait I don't wanna hold you up, the treadmill guy is coming between 2-6 so I'll just drive.  So yeah, the treadill guy already came...you wanna pick me up....wait what time are you coming back tomorrow..okay pick me up.....5million mind changes later...I'm not driving :)....GOOD GOD!!!

Easy bake oven beeeeep, she's done ;),

Here's to new beginnings....in every sense of the word.

Just started this one....We'll see how she unfolds.  

Time

Soooo...I have nothing but time on my hands for the next seven days....that means my brain needs to be occupied or I'll go mad....I downloaded this book on amazon, the movie comes out in March.  I'm probably ruining the movie for myself but oh well :).

Merry Christmas!

It's that time of year....I get requests for these beasts all year round but I refuse to make em unless it's Christmas.  Reason being, I'm not strong enough to make em without inhaling a few.  It's a cookie layer, a brownie layer and caramel coconut layer.  Yup, pretty much enough sugar to throw you into a coma and then send you spinning into withdrawals, Ahh, the holidays ;).  

The giving tree

Idk what it is but I like how it turned out.  

I miss my artzy fartzy time ;).

Did the sketch before the gym....came back, water color painted it and Waaaalaaahh :) 

I forgot what it was all about.....but thankfully...he reminded me.....

“The test of learning psychology is whether your understanding of situations you encounter has changed, not whether you have learned a new fact.”

—	― Daniel Kahneman

Fuckery

If I don't get this off my chest I might explode into a gazillion itty bitty pieces.  I hate how I feel right now.  I feel like a prisoner in my own mind, like someone else is controlling my thoughts and I can't stop them from doing so.  Guess who's fault it is, MINE!!!  I made the choices, I took the action, I was the instigator knowing full well this is where I would end up.  I thought I could control it this time, I think that every time.  It's time to own up to the fact that I can't.  I can't live with this kind of chaos in my brain, it's enough to drive me completely insane.  I know better, I need to do better.  My strength in every area of my life gave way to weakness.  I'm not a weak woman but I've been making the choices of one.  Why did I let myself backslide?  Sadly, because it was easier to say yes instead of no.  I wish I had an excuse or some crazy story as to why I got lazy, but I don't.  It was easier to "belong" than to stand on my own two feet and fight for what I deserved.  I chose easier now for harder later, that NEVER works, E-V-E-R!  The point is.....I need to make better choices, period.  There is no need for me to beat myself up, what's done is done.  However, if I don't hold myself accountable and move forward, I will be stuck in bad decision land feeling like a god damn lunatic.  sigh, ahhhhhh.....better already :).

 “Are we putting this little shit on the tree or not?”

—	My Mother: A deeply religious person referring to the angel