thump thump thump thump thump.....Followed by a less than confident lil voice making it's way down the stairs.....MOMMY,MOMMY!!!  I had a bad dream.  I can't fall back asleep.  Austin Tyler you need to man up and take ur lil butt up those stairs.  The tears begin to well up in those innocent big brown eyes of his,Mommy I can't.  I try one more time to see if he can make his way without me.  Austin you need to go back up those stairs and get ur butt in that bed.  MOMMMYYY cant you just lay with me for a lil bit.  AUSTIN....If  have to come up there.  The tears have now turned into sobs which reminds me so much of myself when I was little. Okay, mommy.....Of course the tears don't slow and I know at this point he just needs comfort.  So I drag myself up the stairs....reluctantly walk down the hall into his room.  I pass by the geckos,put one foot on the bottom step one hand on top step slowly climbing up the ladder to the top bunk.  I hear the sobs getting bigger.  Austin....you're a big guy now you cant be doing this.  You have to face your fears.  The tears just keep flowing.  In between snot bubbles,excuses of why he can't get the skeletons out of his head and he doesn't know why they are trying to kill him...... I grab him tight in my arms and say baby.....JUST BREATHE.....take a deep breath in...now out.  Okay, stop the crying it wont solve anything.  You need to believe that you can make the thoughts stop.  I know you can!!  I believe in you!! You know why??  You're amazing,smart,caring,fun, and I love you.  You just need to believe.  Another excuse comes tumbling out of his mouth. NOPE....I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT AUSTIN, I know you can do it.  He lays his head on my heart and the tears slowly begin to fade. I ask him if he can hear my heart?  He says yes.  I asked what it was saying?  He said he didn't know.  It's saying I love you.  You're safe.  I'm right here.  I feel the muscles in his body begin to relax.  We lay there in his bed.  I've got one hand on the ceiling and one around my baby.  At that moment everything felt right.  I was doing all I could to make sure my baby had everything he needed. Moments like this make me realize so much about life....past,present,future.  I want to give my son something I never had....A sense of security and love.  A strong foundation.  A place he can come and feel safe.  I WANT HIM TO KNOW I HAVE HIS BACK NO MATTER WHAT........

Enough of the free writing....I have work I still have to do

Peace and Waffles :)